When Toilet Paper Becomes More Relevant Than Churches

Arriving at Costco at 2:55 a.m. on March 18, Ben and Mariam Cole joined 20 others in line to be among the first to enter the store when the doors opened at 8:00. By the time they got in, the store was already out of the baby wipes they needed for their two-year-old son.^[1] This is because reports of an emerging pandemic and a potential quarantine drove hoards of Americans to panic buy supplies. To maintain order, stores across the country began limiting the number of shoppers allowed inside at any one time and the quantities they could buy of high-demand items, such as wet wipes, rubbing alcohol, hand sanitizer, and toilet paper.

In scenes reminiscent of Black Friday, shoppers were willing to wait in line for hours in the hope of securing toilet paper! Ironically, nothing about the coronavirus pandemic requires an increased use of toilet paper. Nevertheless, “Toilet paper has become a metaphor for safety, if not the symbol of this coronavirus crisis,” according to a psychology expert.^[2]

Weeks later, toilet paper shortages continue to plague the nation. Despite manufacturers breaking production records and some distribution centers increasing their shipments by 120%,^[3] manufacturers are rationing deliveries to meet the illogical demand.^[4] Not surprisingly, this phenomenon has inspired myriads of memes and parodies.^[5] Bakeries are selling toilet paper cookies^[6] and cakes,^[7] police are handing out toilet paper rolls instead of tickets,^[8] and new e-tools help calculate how long people’s toilet paper stock will last.^[9]

On YouTube a viral video clip shows a man ordering takeout coffee. Instead of a wallet, he pulls out a roll of toilet paper and tears off several sheets for payment.^[10] On Twitter people share jokes, such as Janis Neufeld’s tweet, “Some people aren’t shaking hands because of Coronavirus. I’m not shaking hands because everyone is out of toilet paper. #COVID2019 [sic] #toiletpapercrisis.”^[11] And “baby’s first pandemic” photos are trending on Instagram with infants surrounded by rolls of toilet paper.^[12]

Incredibly, there have even been a rash of toilet paper thefts, prompting some cities to threaten arrests and misdemeanor charges for those caught.^[13] Besides obvious targets such as hotels^[14] and public restrooms in parks^[15] and rest stops,^[16] some are breaking into cars just to nab unattended rolls of toilet paper.^[17] In North Carolina a tractor trailer loaded with 18,000 pounds of toilet paper was stolen.^[18] And police in Oregon have urged people to resist the temptation to call 911 when they run out of toilet paper.^[19][20]

Incredible as it may sound, access to toilet paper has become one of the most relevant issues for Americans in 2020. Faced with an unprecedented threat, Americans opted to turn to toilet paper—something previously taken for granted—for a sense of safety and security. How is it that when confronted with the prospect of death, society’s first reaction was to line up in the parking lot of Costco instead of their local church?

It has long been believed that Americans may take church for granted when times are good, but times of crisis will draw them back to God. After all, American churches were filled in the immediate aftermath of the 9/11 terrorist attacks,^[21] but it seems that in the decades following these attacks, many Americans have given up even on the idea that church has any meaningful merit in times of true crisis. Instead, there has been an outcry across the nation pleading for governments to classify churches as non-essential services and to compel them to close their doors to keep the public safe.^[22]

Churches are branded as being “in the business” of helping people cope with death, meeting physical needs, and providing hope. Why then does society consider them to be non-essential in a time of national distress and plague? Why are people lining up for toilet paper but lines to get answers and direction from the local church are sparse?

It is time for the church to reconsider its ministry model. Any church that has not experienced a flood of new faces or a barrage of e-mails and phone calls seeking help, assurance, and spiritual guidance should re-evaluate its metrics for determining success. When God’s people lose to toilet paper for relevancy in a time of national crisis, something is dreadfully wrong! Let’s begin having this conversation.